DEBORA RESNICK
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Another Example of Letting Go

5/29/2023

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​Here is another example of needing to let go.
 
I recently read a book about the sexual abuse of a daughter by her father. The daughter cannot let go of the fact that her mother and older sister do not believe her. The author thrashes about during the entire book, setting up meeting after meeting, trying to convince mother and older sister about what happened to her. The book ends on that note.
I would love to meet the author and tell her that her mother and sister are never going to change their minds. And since they are never going to come around, she is the one who has to come around, she has to give up trying to convince them. 
This does not mean she is giving up thinking what she is thinking, it simply means she is giving up trying to change their thinking.
Giving up trying to change their thinking acknowledges a very painful reality but, at the same time, it will give her back her life. For it will remove this futile festering that has consumed her and free her to expend all the energy released thereby on her children, her brother, her friends, her career, her life.
 
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    why i write

    My goal in writing is to communicate and share my thoughts about the people I know and the events I have experienced with the hope that my experience can be of help to others. The gist of my experience in The One of Their Relationship is: letting go.
    ​
    But there is also a secret contained in the latter advice: you have to know what it is you need to let go of. In my case, I had to let go of the belief that I could reason my unreasonable father into being reasonable.

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